


Thought We Were Holding On

by isacabral



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, all good stuff, and angry sex, and untalked feelings, i just tagged the ones who actually talk in the fic, set during pp3, sort of but not really canon compliant, the other bellas make an appearence too, there is pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 16:14:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16684897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isacabral/pseuds/isacabral
Summary: Aren't we?//Beca and Chloe had a whole lot of history together and they were definitely the greatest thing that the acapella world had ever seen. So why did Chloe kept getting the feeling Beca wanted to leave it all behind?





	Thought We Were Holding On

**Author's Note:**

> Look at me using boyband songs in my fics like there's no tomorrow. My beta is not pleased about this but he was kind enough to review this for me so thanks man.
> 
> I've been working on this for over a year and only now managed to finish it. Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Title's from One Direction's History.

Chloe bit down her bottom lip but it did nothing to prevent her very obvious moan from coming out.

 

She felt a hand creep up her trembling thighs and squeeze them. “Dude,” Beca's voice came muffled from between her legs. “They're gonna hear you,” she bit the inside of her thigh in retaliation, which just made Chloe moan again.

 

“Then hurry up,” she grabbed a handful of brown hair and guided Beca’s mouth back to where it belonged.

 

Beca's chuckle against her just sped the process along.

 

//

 

Chloe wasn't very sure how it all started since it was all a bit of a blurry memory for her — winning the Worlds, getting drunk out of her ass, celebrating with the Bellas and waking up the next day in a tangled, naked mess with her best friend on their hotel bed.

 

A best friend she had spent the better part of her extra years in college crushing on.

 

Chloe ended up panicking and fleeing the room, hoping Beca's memories were as blurred as hers and that the brunette would attribute her naked state to another drunken striptease accident. Beca had a tendency to get rid of her clothes when drunk because ‘this dress is suffocating me, Chlo’ and ‘Amy says boobs should never be trapped’.

 

There was probably just something in Copenhagen’s air anyway. Chloe wasn't going to lose an amazing friendship due to some drunken mishap. They were going back home anyway and real life had no space for mistakes made during exotic trips.

 

Beca was going to Los Angeles. Chloe was going to New York. They'd remain friends and no harm would be done.

 

//

 

The first time Beca's job brought her to New York, Chloe was mostly relieved. She has had a solid family in the Bellas for seven years and although she was sharing her NYC apartment with Stacie, her job and the brunette’s masters program kept them more apart than together most days.

 

Suffice to say, Chloe needed her Bella fix. And who better for it than Beca?

 

“Can you, like, come over?” Chloe watched as Beca awkwardly scratched her nose over their Skype call. “I have to meet with these executive dudes and they're all bringing their wives for some reason and, well…”

 

“You need someone to be there for you?” Chloe filled in the gap with a knowing smile and just giggled when she heard a grumbled ‘yeah’. “Of course, Becs.”

 

“Cool,” Beca gave her signature half smile. “See you in two weeks?”

 

“Awes,” they said their goodbyes and ended the call.

 

Chloe honestly didn't even thought about their time in Copenhagen. This was just two best friends catching up and being there for each other. A support system.

 

Seriously.

 

//

 

“Oh God, that was awful,” Beca moaned once the execs had gone away and they remained at the hotel bar, finishing off their drinks.

 

“Worst than when Amy flashed President Obama?” Chloe couldn't hold in her slightly tipsy laughter as Beca grimaced.

 

“ _Dude_ ,” the brunette grumbled, finishing her drink in one big gulp and gesturing for another. “You just made it worst.”

 

Chloe just shrugged, unapologetic.

 

“What can I do to make it better, then?”

 

“I don't know,” Beca shrugged too, her dark blue eyes glazing a bit as the vodka affected them. “We had good moments, talk about those!”

 

Chloe knew, deep down, that Beca was a softie hiding behind layers and layers of eyeliner and she lived for the moments when the brunette showed it.

 

Five more drinks and two hours later had both of them flushed with alcohol and laughter as they recounted their best moments with the Bellas, most of them involving their rambunctious Australian friend or the crazy acapella parties they attended together.

 

“You know where else we had a good time?” Beca slurred, turning to face Chloe until their noses were almost pressed to one another and they could smell each other’s vodka breath. “Copenhagen.”

 

“Yeah,” the first memory that popped in the redhead’s mind made her flush even more and shudder. “Yeah,” she gulped, as several more blurred memories blended together in her mind. “It was… aca-awesome.”

 

Chloe tried really hard _not_ to think about what she barely remembered from their last night there but the alcohol in her bloodstream was making it very difficult for her to push those memories down.

 

Beca snorted, her face dropping to rest on Chloe’s shoulder for a moment. When she came back, she looked at Chloe really intensely and it made the redhead wish she still had her drink to focus on. This looked like it was going down a dangerous path.

 

“You wanna know what else I thought was... aca-awesome?” Beca's sudden smirk made Chloe's heart beat wildly in her chest and by the brunette’s tone she knew exactly what she was referring to.

 

“What?” they were so close Chloe didn't actually see Beca’s hands boldly touching her bare thighs but she felt the burning sensation they left in their wake anyway.

 

It knocked the breath out of her.

 

“Our last night there,” Beca leaned in and for a moment Chloe thought they were gonna kiss but the brunette just whispered in her ear, her hot breath creating goosebumps all over her body. “You left some really great marks on my body, Chlo.”

 

Chloe's burning face fell into Beca's collarbone as the tiniest of moans left her mouth.

 

Her drunken mind barely had the time to register what was happening when she felt Beca bite down her earlobe and whisper anew, “Wanna do it again?”

 

They were up on the elevator and inside Beca's room in record time.

 

//

 

Chloe doesn’t know what it is, she just knows that it keeps happening.

 

They hook up whenever Beca comes to NYC and stay at that nice hotel on the West Village; after Chloe’s done chaperoning a trip her class took to Los Angeles; when they go cheer on Emily at Regionals after receiving a very stressed out message from the Legacy and being the only Bellas available to help.

 

Interestingly enough, it only keeps happening when they stay at hotels, outside of what Chloe started referring to in her mind as ‘regular friendship settings’.

 

When Beca comes to NYC but instead crashes on Chloe and Stacie’s sofa, needing to come to scout for new talents in upcoming hipster neighborhoods — no need for fancy hotel then, apparently, and Beca always claims their couch is way more comfortable than the bed at her cheap hostel — they do regular best friend stuff, like lounging on the couch watching trashy TV and going out for drinks after work — or, in Beca’s case, _for_ work.

 

When Chloe goes to LA to watch Amy perform her ‘Fat Amy Winehouse’ act and crashes on her and Beca’s air mattress in the living room, she ends up crawling in Beca’s bed later at night — because, let’s face it, who can ever manage to sleep on a damn air mattress? — but cuddling is all they do.

 

Just like old times.

 

Except when one particular trip to LA ends up turning into an impromptu one to San Francisco due to an unscheduled work trip Beca’s boss forgot to mention earlier and they leave Amy behind to spend a steamy week in Fog City.

 

 _Technically_ , Chloe could only assume they were friends with benefits. It was the logical explanation, right? It was a common enough thing, it happened between friends who needed to scratch an itch every once in awhile.

 

If that was the case, though, Chloe didn’t knew why she couldn’t bring herself to discuss the matter with Aubrey, or Stacie, let alone Beca herself. If it was so _normal_ , as she was trying to make herself believe, why couldn’t she bring it up to her best friends? She had a lot of questions about it.

 

She had a lot of _feelings_ about it and if there was one thing Chloe Beale was uncostumed doing was _not_ discussing her feelings.

 

This whole thing was just too weird and fucked up.

 

It didn’t keep her from letting it happen every time the opportunity presented itself, though.

 

Chloe may be confused but she was no idiot.

 

//

 

“You guys,” Chloe watched through her misty eyes as Aubrey’s green ones sparkled with an idea. “Every year the USO puts on this performance to support the troops in Europe! What if I could get us an invite?”

 

Chloe's eyes widen with excitement at the possibility of performing with the Bellas again,  _her_ Bellas, her family. In her tipsy, mopey stage, it sounded like the best idea in the whole world.

 

But then she remembers what tends to happen now whenever her and Beca are in hotel rooms and she felt her heart rate picking up.

 

What should she do?

 

“I’ve suddenly got a bunch of free time, so... hell yeah!”

 

Well, it looked like Beca had already chosen for her.

 

//

 

“Got everything you need?”

 

“Yeah,” Chloe bit her bottom lip nervously, checking her bag one more time. “Are you sure you don’t wanna come with us?” she eyed Stacie and noticed the sad smile gracing her roommate’s features.

 

“You know I’d love to, Red,” Stacie sighed. “But my life is crazy right now. Good crazy. I can’t exactly drop everything to go tour with you guys in Europe, no matter how awesome that sounds.”

 

“You think we’re crazy for doing it?” Chloe frowned.

 

“I think you guys are insanely awesome,” Stacie winked, making Chloe giggle. “But my big break is coming, I can feel it in my bones. My research looks promising and I can't afford to leave now. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t followed through with all that I worked for, you know?”

 

Chloe looks intently at her roommate, like if she was seeing her for the first time in forever; Stacie had fallen so well into her after-college life. She was out there, conquering the world like she was supposed to and Chloe was a little bit jealous of that.

 

Stacie was getting everything she wanted out of life. And Chloe wanted that too.

 

“Yeah, I do.”

 

She just wanted it with Beca alongside her.

 

//

 

Which was pathetic, she was very much aware of this fact.

 

It was _so_ pathetic to keep sleeping with the best friend she was clearly pining after and then simply _not_ talking about it.

 

But what would Chloe do? It’s not like Beca was open to talking about feelings and awkward situations. Not unless she was drunk out of her ass, that is. And that wasn’t a conversation Chloe wanted them to have while under the influence so they could take the easy road and blame it on the alcohol later on.

 

No, she wanted to do it sober, under daylight and sharing eye contact, for crying out loud! They were adults, they were _friends_ , they owed it to their history that much.

 

Yes. They could do this!

 

//

 

Actually, they couldn’t.

 

Their first night in Europe, after all the Bellas had paired up to get a room — and this was a clear proof to the redhead that the universe was against her because Chloe got paired up with _Beca_ while Aubrey got to keep a single room — things were already starting to go south.

 

“Yo captains!” Amy hollered from their Spanish hotel lobby. “We’re about to hit the alcohol room. You coming?”

 

Chloe knew they should say no. The perfect opportunity was presenting itself here, with a room only for them where they could talk without being interrupted. They should take it.

 

“Oh God, yes please,” Beca moaned, grabbing Chloe's hand and dragging her with her. “After thirteen hours up in the air with Amy, I sure as hell need a drink.”

 

Okay, so maybe later.

 

//

 

They were all seated at a table on a local bar down from their hotel, drinking the sangrias Aubrey had ordered for them and catching up on life.

 

Chloe was seated between Aubrey and Beca, but the redhead’s focus was on Aubrey, since she was trying really hard not to think about Beca's hand casually resting on her left knee.

 

They were with their _friends_. They weren't alone. This was violating their unspoken rules!

 

“Are you okay, Chlo?” Aubrey asked her, eyeing her nervous twitching worried. “You should have stayed at the hotel, you look tired.”

 

“I’m good, Bree,” the redhead shrugged, taking a bigger gulp from her drink than she originally intended when she felt Beca drawing lazy circles from her knee up to her thighs.

 

Oh boy, she couldn't do this. It was too much.

 

And she really wanted to punch Beca right now, for teasing her like this while keeping an impressive facade talking to Jessica and Ashley.

 

She kept it up, though, they both did, until Chloe couldn't hold in a squeak as Beca's hand came within inches of the heat between her legs.

 

“Are you _sure_ you're alright, Chloe?” Aubrey asked again, this time even more worried.

 

“I'm…” Chloe gasped for her breath, able to do it easier now since Beca had removed her hand from its previous spot.

 

“You know what? I'm totally jetlagged, I think it's best if I go back to the hotel.”

 

She watched as Aubrey opened her mouth, probably to offer to walk back to the hotel with her and she was prepared to deny it — because, let's face it, what she wanted wasn't something she wanted to get from Aubrey — when she felt Beca intertwining their fingers and saying, “I'll head back with you.”

 

“What?!” Chloe exclaimed, confused.

 

What the hell was Beca doing?

 

“Oh,” Aubrey’s frown disappeared. “Okay. You sure, Beca?”

 

“Yeah,” Beca shrugged in true Beca fashion. “I'm super jetlagged too. We'll see you guys tomorrow?”

 

They said their goodbyes and left for the hotel together, Beca's hand still firmly grasping Chloe's.

 

Chloe was still confused. And horny. Not the greatest combination, in her opinion.

 

//

 

The whole way back was spent in comfortable silence, making Chloe think that maybe the moment had passed. Or that it never existed, in the first place.

 

That was, until they got to their room and the second the door was closed, Beca was pining Chloe to the wall and mauling her neck with her glorious mouth.

 

For a moment, Chloe was left gasping for air and unsure of anything aside the incessant throbbing between her thighs. When her brain finally caught up with the rest of her body, she knew she couldn't go on without an answer.

 

“Becs,” she moaned just as Beca bit a very sensitive part of her neck and one of her hands disappeared beneath Chloe's shirt. “Beca, wait.”

 

“Chlo, wha—” when Beca's face came into view, Chloe could see her midnight blue eyes almost pitch black, pupils dilated, and mouth swollen, breathing heavy. The redhead couldn't help but kissing her for a brief moment before Beca herself pulled back. “What?”

 

“Are you sure you want to do this? Here?” as Chloe asked, her traitor hands slipping under Beca's shirt and scratching her back, and the redhead was able to watch as the brunette rolled her eyes and bit her bottom lip to contain a moan.

 

“I do,” Beca answered, her voice raspy, but sure. “Don't you?” concern etched her face and that was all Chloe's self control could handle.

 

Instead of answering, she found she was better at showing Beca how much she wanted it.

 

//

 

Let's just say Chloe was thankful by the fact all the other Bellas were too hangover to noticed she didn't looked as well rested as she should the morning after.

 

//

 

When this… thing kept happening outside of their regular friendship settings, it was easy for Chloe to act nonchalant and hide it from their friends when they were together.

 

And it wasn't _technically_ hiding, it was just… not talking.

 

But as they toured all over Europe competing against different bands (with _actual instruments!_ So unfair), it just kept getting harder and harder to hide. Or not tell. Or whatever.

 

It was hard because she could tell Aubrey was eyeing them with increasing suspicion and Amy and Cynthia-Rose’s comments were getting louder and more inappropriate. Chloe could also tell that stupidly handsome music producer was all over Beca despite the clear uninterested signs she was sending him. And Chloe couldn't quite shake off the charming military guy who kept smiling at her and asking her to dinner.

 

She also couldn't — and didn't want to — stop hooking up with Beca every night they found themselves alone in their hotel rooms.

 

The lines were blurring and Chloe could feel herself drowning.

 

//

 

“So,” Beca asked as they made their way down the hotel lobby somewhere in Italy? France? Whatever, Chloe always sucked at Maps. “You going out with Illinois boy? He was looking for you earlier.”

 

“He was?” Chloe asked distracted, messing around with her phone. “If we end up bumping into each other later, I'll talk to him.”

 

She completely missed the hard frown that adorned Beca's features at her answer.

 

“Seriously?” Chloe finally looked up from her phone to see her best friend scowling at her. “You think you can do the whole long distance thing?”

 

“What?!” Chloe laughed incredulously. “Who said anything about long distance?”

 

“Well, you said you were going to look for him…”

 

Chloe's eyes narrowed when she noticed Beca's attempt (and fail) at sounding nonchalant. Was she…?

 

“Are you… jealous?” the redhead smirked, feeling a low rumbling feeling in her stomach at the way her best friend blushed.

 

“Me? Wha—no!” Beca sputtered, making Chloe giggle. “I'm not!”

 

“Sure, Becs,” Chloe kept her teasing smile as she leaned against their hotel lobby’s wall. “Not that's any of your business but whatever happens with Chicago is just fun.”

 

Beca mumbled something she didn't hear.

 

“Just because you don't wanna have fun with anyone here…”

 

“I thought _we_ were having fun,” Beca spoke up, halting Chloe on her sentence.

 

“What?” she turned sharply to face the brunette’s wide and panicky eyes.

 

“Uh…”

 

As Beca struggled with her answer, Chloe noticed out the corner of her eyes Chicago making his way into the lobby.

 

 _No_. She wasn't going to miss this opportunity at talking to Beca about their _whatever_ , not now she was close!

 

“Hide!” she pushed the tiny brunette towards a more secured part of the lobby.

 

Chloe was still looking over her shoulder when she heard Beca clearing her throat. “What is happening here?”

 

That's when she noticed her hands were not-so-subtly groping her best friend's boobs, as if they were acting under a subconscious influence.

 

“What did you say about us?” her hands placement didn't deter her questioning.

 

In fact, she was quite enjoying this.

 

“Uh…” Beca faltered once again under her intense gaze.

 

And she was saved from having to give an answer by an interruption Chloe did not saw coming.

 

“What is happening here?” she heard Aubrey’s suspicions under her tone but she wasn't ready to face _that_ battle yet.

 

And apparently Beca wasn't ready to face theirs. So she gave up entirely and said it was nothing. Perhaps it was.

 

//

 

If she spent the rest of the night rotating from Bella to Bella avoiding both Beca and Aubrey, well. There was only so much she could take.

 

Those were the days she missed Stacie the most.

 

//

 

Chloe was _angry_.

 

All the pent up emotions about sneaking around with her best friend right under their friends noses then watching said best friend, whom she was painfully in love with, being whisked away from the group, from _her_ , by a douchey dude acting like a knight in fucking shiny armor, she _hated_.

 

Chloe hated she couldn't tell him to get lost, that Beca clearly wasn't interested in him like that and that he should stop trying to buy her affection.

 

But she _couldn't_. Because Beca wasn't hers for safe keeping, she was a grown woman able to make her own decisions.

 

Did she even know Chloe was a possibility?

 

“Chlo…” Beca moaned, rather loudly, as Chloe shoved her against the wall of their fancy hotel on their last stop of the tour. “Wha—oh God,” she moaned again as Chloe forcefully bit her collarbone.

 

Chloe knew what she was doing. She was trying to brand Beca as her own. But she couldn't bring herself to care right now.

 

The redhead got rid of her clothes quickly, hoping that being topless would sidetrack Beca enough to release her pent up feelings so she wouldn't turn into an angry crying mess.

 

She smirked as Beca openly stared at her chest and beckoned the brunette to the bed. “You want a picture, Becs? I hear they last longer.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Chloe blinked and then Beca was on top of her, also topless and, well. She was never gonna complain about that.

 

The redhead went back to marking her best friend's chest. With each bite, her heart beat out _mine, mine, mine_ , with the wish she couldn't say out loud. Beca's moans, a loud indicator the brunette wasn't going to complain about it anytime soon, made her ears ring in the best way possible.

 

Or maybe not, since it prevented her from listening to Aubrey’s rapidly knocking on her door and her entering the room.

 

It didn't, however, prevent her from hearing her shrill exclamation of, “Oh, my God, what are you guys doing?!”

 

They stopped what they were doing but there was no mistaking the sounds Beca was making or the red marks all over her chest and neck or the fact that both girls were topless and Chloe’s jeans buttons were unfastened.

 

When had Beca even done that?

 

Okay, right. Not important.

 

“Cover yourselves!”

 

Chloe knew what would come now; Aubrey obviously wouldn’t let this go and Beca would either remain radio silent or sputter out some lame excuse along the lines of “it’s not what you’re thinking,” or “we’re super drunk,” — which they weren’t, Chloe’s buzz was mainly from their previous activities — or something else completely untrue.

 

And it’d break Chloe’s heart all over again.

 

“Aubrey…”

 

“Hey, no,” Beca interrupted Chloe’s explanation, putting a finger over her lips and dismounting her lap. “Let me explain.”

 

Chloe looked unsure, but nodded despite her reservations and took the hoodie Beca had taken out of her suitcase and watched warily as the brunette cleared her throat to get Aubrey to look back at them.

 

“It’s not what you think, Aubrey,” Beca said.

 

Chloe felt her stomach drop and the telltale sign of tears stung in her eyes. Of course Beca would say that. _Of course_.

 

“So you _weren’t_ mauling my best friend, Beca? Is that what you’re going with?” Aubrey questioned, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes dangerously at the brunette.

 

“Well, technically, _she_ was the one mauling _me_ , so…”

 

“Oh, my God,” Chloe sobbed, incredulous. “Beca!”

 

“What?” Beca turned to look at her with a sly smile. “It’s true, Chlo.”

 

Aubrey cleared her throat again, interrupting their banter. “How long has this been going on?”

 

“A couple of years,” Beca said, still looking at Chloe but Chloe refused to meet her gaze. She didn’t want her to know how upset she was about this. “It’s _not_ what you think, Aubrey,” she said it again.

 

“You keep saying that, midget, but you don’t know what I think,” Aubrey responded sharply.

 

“You think this is a fling, that we’re just messing with each other,” at Beca’s response, Chloe finally looked back at her, slightly confused. Where was this going? “But it’s not. I’m in love with her. I'm in love with you, Chlo,” Beca said softly and Chloe felt new tears stinging her eyes. “I always have.”

 

“You what?” Chloe’s voice was scratchy and she sniffed, tears rolling down her face despite her best attempts to keep them at bay.

 

“I love you,” Beca repeated, strong and surely, sitting next to Chloe in bed and holding her hands. “I’ve been in love with you for, like… ever, dude.”

 

“You never said anything!” Chloe sobbed, tears running down her face with full force now.

 

How was this possible? What was happening?

 

“I woke up alone after Copenhagen!” Beca sounded agitated. “What the hell was I supposed to think?”

 

“This… has been going on since Copenhagen?” Aubrey asked , shocked, startling Chloe who had honestly forgotten she was still there.

 

“Give it or take,” Beca answered, still holding Chloe’s hand but turning back to Aubrey. “It started out as a drunk thing and then it evolved to a ‘only-happens-at-hotels’ thing…”

 

“And you’ve been in love with me ever since?” Chloe asked in a small voice, having managed to get a hold over her crying.

 

“Yeah,” Beca said, turning to her with a frown. “Sorry I never said anything.”

 

“Sorry I let you wake up alone after Copenhagen,” Chloe wailed, kissing Beca with such a force it dropped them both back to bed.

 

Aubrey cleared her throat again, causing them to separate with matching scowls on their faces.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m going to go now,” she assuaged them. “You two have clearly… stuff to work out,” she nodded and turned to leave, but not before pinning Beca down with a hard look and saying. “By the way, Beca, this was _exactly_ what I thought it was.”

 

“Wow,” Beca said after she left. “I forgot how intense she was.”

 

“Yeah,” Chloe said, biting her lip in a nervous habit.

 

“Chlo, what is it?” Beca asked, noticing her sudden nervousness.

 

“Before we continue this, there’s something I’d like to ask,” Chloe said before she lost her nerve.

 

“What is it?”

 

She took a deep breath before looking Beca deadly in her eyes and saying, “Beca Mitchell, will you be my girlfriend?”

 

Beca smiled goofily at her. “I thought you’d never ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think!


End file.
